Unconditional Love. Part I (Divine Origins)

Our idea of who God is pervades everything in our spiritual space and determines how we live our lives. For much human existence, there has been a challenge of understanding who or what God is, as humans have sought, through many different media, a path to God. In modern times, the preference for a proven scientific approach to solving our challenges has become prevalent, leading many to doubt the existence of a God, let alone one that is unconditionally loving.

Religion also sometimes, seemingly, offers no solace. Here, we are on occasion presented with a God (or gods) whose love is conditional. In the Old testament (Christian Bible), for instance, God said: “Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments”. Yikes!

So how do we reconcile this idea of agape love with seeming conditional love set forth by our Deities? Here (on the rational mind), one of our goals is to understand things from first principles. In this post, mostly drawn from a conversation with Pastor Jeffery Walter of Cafan Media about what unconditional love is, I outline what I believe is a sound model of unconditional love, and how an all-loving, all-wise God goes about loving his subjects.

The Discussion

Q. Why is it that God seemingly withdraws from us when we stray from his path? Doesn’t that make his love conditional?

A. God’s love is not conditional. God’s love is seemingly waning or kindled depending on the individual’s perception. Let me use the sun and planets as an example. The sun does not increase or reduce in its intensity. However, the earth, due to its position, receives this light and warmth in varying degrees. As a result, we have winters, summers, springs, autumns, days and nights. So this change in the position of the sun is only an apparent change. Likewise with God, the closer we move to him, the more intensely we feel his love.

Q. If I have to do something to get closer to God, isn’t this love still conditional on my part?

A. The idea of conditional love has to be looked at from its inception. If God is going to love you, do you motivate him to love you? No. If you do not motivate him to love you, then the love from its source is unconditional. This means that God loves people who are farthest away from him in the same way he loves the people who are closest to him. God’s love does not diminish towards anyone.

Those that are closest to God are those who have allowed God in. In order to receive God’s love, one has to freely open his or her doors to allow the love in. Love that is not received freely is no more love, but domination, and God does not dominate anyone. So obeying God’s commandments is not a way of causing him to love us; rather, it is a way of opening the doors to receive his love. If I come to your house and you open the door, it does not mean that you made me come to your house. However, for my coming to your house to be effective to you, you must open the door and bid me in.

Q. How do I get closer to God then?

If we look at God’s commandments as something we must do in order to receive his love, then we will not benefit much from it because it will become burdensome to us. If we view God’s commandments like a parent guiding his or her child unto the right path, then we will be more willing to allow him to love us freely.

Wax on; Wax off. An illusory example (Spoilers alert)

Karate Kid is one of my all-time favourite movies. In the movie, Daniel LaRusso is being bullied by Johnny Lawrence, so Daniel goes to Mr. Miyagi to teach him some Karate so he can defend himself. To begin training, Mr. Miyagi gives Daniel a bunch of seemingly pointless exercises like, wax on; wax off, where Daniel cleans old, dirty cars with an elaborate, swiping motion. In addition to this, Daniel is made to scrub floors, paint fences, among other things. Mr. Miyagi’s methods are eccentric, and Daniel is tempted to quit at a point; however, he will come to know the value inherent in these exercises later on, especially when he wins All-Valley Karate Championship.

Wax on; Wax off gif

Ultimately, God’s desire is to bring us to place of genuine happiness. A lot of the happiness we seek for ourselves is mostly harmful. What God wants to do is rearrange these desires so that they align with orderly happiness: happiness that would not destroy us and the people around us. It is like Daniel LaRusso wanting to learn karate so that he can take revenge on Johnny and being told to wax on; wax off. Eventually, Daniel learns the self-discipline and self-mastery it takes to become a true karate master. These values will serve him well even beyond karate and play a role in making him a successful business owner ( in my opinion ). Daniel comes to love Mr. Miyagi so much, because of the training he received from him. What does Mr. Miyagi get from all this? Nothing, but the selfless joy of seeing Daniel develop into his best possible self.

Of course, this example is a bit contrived. God is not trying to teach you karate, but the point here is this: God loves us so much, and all he cares about is bringing us to a place of genuine happiness. God has been moving in an infinite capacity from eternity for us. It is up to us to align ourselves.

Either you karate do yes, or karate do no. You karate do guess so, kwhee [squishing sound]. Just like grape. Understand?

– Mr. Miyagi.

Takeaway

The takeaway here is this: God is constant, and that constant is unconditional love. Contrary to what you might read, think or hear, He is not a vengeful, tyrannical overlord whose goal is to bend our will to his purpose only. Given the challenges we face, it is difficult to see how this is true. There are times when we compel ourselves out of fear to draw closer to God. At other times, we get mad at God and shake our fists, yet it is love and understanding that imparts joy, not fear. Coming to this understanding does not happen overnight. It takes time, and it takes effort.

The best way (I’ve found) to understand unconditional love is to mimic it in our own lives because then we’ll begin to truly understand the joys inherent in living for a greater purpose. Here’s an exercise, pick one thing that you can do now that people, not just yourself, will benefit from. It doesn’t have to be the grandest thing like donating a lot of money. It could be the smallest of things like sweeping a room, or cooking a meal. The goal of this exercise is to be process-oriented, not outcome-oriented. In other words, focus NOT on what you’ll get, but on producing your best work. There is, after all, more blessing in giving than in receiving. See it through, and journal how it makes you feel. It may or may not work for you, but you can send us an email of your experience with it. We eager to know whether or not it works for you.

Now, many (of my friends at least) have argued unconditional love is impossible for us mere mortals, but I don’t see it this way, so join me in the second part of this series, Love unconditional-Part II , where we explore how we can apply the ideas espoused here to our personal relationships and, possibly, love unconditionally.

Postscript: There are many things mentioned or alluded to in the article that weren’t expounded upon. For instance, we did talk about why there’s so much suffering in the world if God’s love for the human race in unconditional. These topics are deep and would require their own articles or article series to explore them properly.

Date: January 15, 2022

Tags: Love Providence